The last week...

Over the last week or so, a lot of things have been going around and around in my head, and I thought it might be helpful to get some of them out.
So first and foremost, let me admit to something. I realise that perhaps not everyone in the world sees things the same way I do, that maybe some people have opinions or views that differ from my own. This is part of being human.
Yet, unlike several people I know and come across, the fact that someone else may not agree with me does not automatically mean that they are wrong. I mean, maybe I'm wrong about some things and they're wrong about some things. I can not presume - nor can anyone else - that I am always right about everything just because I believe it to be true.
I have been reasonably vocal of late about the growing issue of marriage equality in the area in which I live. I believe it is the imperative of any humanitarian - let alone a Christian, who has been commanded to love everyone, even those whose opinions might differ from your own - to show compassion, not self-righteous judgment to our brothers and sisters.
But what has troubled me the most is that it seems to be - almost exclusively - my non-christian friends who agree with me, and my Christian friends who tell me I'm wrong, that being homosexual is wrong, that being whatever they are not is wrong, etc etc.
It seems that many friends of mine think I have come to my opinions lightly, without any consideration or deliberation. But this is definitely not the case. I have pored over the Scriptures - including the Hebrew and Greek, not just the NIV study bible notes - in order to arrive at the place I have. And to be quite frank, it saddens me that it is the Christians of the world who seem unable or unwilling to show love to those who it seems to me need it most at the moment.
Anyway, enough said for now, I need to get some rest.

An Open Letter to Whoever Cares to Read It

To whom it may concern,
I just want to let you know, before going any further, that I am a Christian. I have been a Christian for as long as I can remember, and will most likely continue to be so for a long, long time.

When I was younger, I would definitely have called myself a conservative. I had no reason to be otherwise. But as I have grown up, and found myself increasingly in situations where platitudes and pat statements didn't sit as well with me, I have had to reassess my position, not because I doubt the words of the Bible, but because I am trying even more to understand them and wrestle with them. Bear in mind that first-century Jewish rabbis would spend hours debating the Law and the Prophets, and they spoke Hebrew! If there were such ambiguities for them, who devoted their entire lives to nothing but the study of Scripture, in their own and original written language, then perhaps there may be one or two (or more) areas of ambiguity in our English translation(s) today.

Over the past years of my life, I must admit, I have seen a lot more than perhaps I would have chosen to in my younger years. Seen things I ought not, done things I ought not, experienced things I ought not. There is no need to go into great detail here, suffice to say I have sinned, as we all have, and I can readily admit that. But I also readily accept that God in Christ has forgiven me at the cross, at the same place and time as He forgave the sins of the whole world. The whole world, which includes a few people you might not agree with, or choose to associate with. As we read in Romans 14, it is not our place to judge the lives of others, that task rests solely with God. We cannot know by simply looking at a person where their heart lies, or where their allegiance lies.

The older I get, the more I realise too that the church is not perfect. I know you think it's just fine, but perhaps you've never seen or experienced anything negative in a church, I don't know, that's your experience not mine. As I said, it's not my place to judge where anyone else is at spiritually. Having now been turned away from eight different churches in six years, I have had to come to the realisation that sometimes, the church misunderstands concepts like forgiveness, grace, acceptance, etc. Why has this happened to me? It's not important. Has it only happened to me? Not by a long shot. I used to think the churches I tried were the exception to the rule, but by the eighth one, and after speaking with (many) others to whom similar things have happened, I had to concede otherwise.

During this time, I have done a lot of searching, and a lot of reading. I know you mean well when you suggest I simply "read my Bible more". And I have. Cover to cover. Over and over. Poring over each word, sentence, paragraph, chapter, book, and so on. I have had to do this, to try and understand it better. To try and find solace in its pages when the church provided none. I've read essays and articles on both sides of the proverbial "fence", to give myself a balanced view. I don't just read the articles that support my point-of-view (you're confusing me with you on that one). But at the end of the day, I don't put too much stock in the ones that make weak, pithy arguments. Those kind of views don't help me any more. And that's where I'm at. I've had to come to this point because of where my life and my experiences with the church have taken me.

I had hoped there would be times that we could also share in the positive things than happen in our lives. You know, to share a time of happiness and congratulations for my recent job offer that has come after months and months of waiting and prayer. You know, the way I have shared your happiness. But it seems that increasingly, you only wish to share negatives. You know, when I think something you don't think, or when in fact anyone else has an opinion that differs to yours. It's really not that helpful in the end. I have come to the point I am at, as I have already said, because I have had to. I can't accept things just because someone tells me on one hand it is so, while on the other hand, no other part of their life reflects that ie. that they forgive me as God has, when I know (by their actions) that this is not the case.

Anyway, I've probably said enough. I just wanted to make my point of view clear, and explain that just because I don't agree with you on every single (irrelevant) point, it doesn't mean I'm not a Christian, nor does it mean I've thrown the Bible out the window. I believe that we are sinful in nature, and that God (in Christ) came to earth to redeem us to himself. I believe what it is necessary to believe: that Jesus is the Christ, and that by believing, I may have life in his name.

Love changes everything

No, this post has nothing to do with Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals, it's about church.
My wife and I attend a couple of churches at the moment, and have attended a couple of others previously, even in the short time we have been married.
One of these is local to us, not far from where we live. We enjoy being a part of the wider community than just a Sunday morning celebration, seeing people at the local supermarket, or at the post office, or the train station, or wherever.
The other is based in the city, and is a slightly different group, being 40-50% attended by people who have served time in the prison system, as well as a few volunteers and other interested people.
The other churches we used to attend, we left for our own reasons, which it is not necessary to go into here, primarily because I don't want to hurt anyone who still goes to those churches by upsetting the notion that everything is fine.
But I will say that most of the people we came to feel close to in our time there, once we made a decision to move on, or once the decision was made for us on whatever way, very few people if any noticed we had gone. This was disturbing for many reasons, but the main one being we had been attending for some time: 3.5 years at one church and 12 months at the other.
We have been at our current Sunday local church now for about 18 months, and find it interesting that we are missed even in short times away. For instance, there was one weekend I attended a writing conference, and so was away on the Sunday morning. The following week, one of the older ladies made a point to tell me how much she had missed me, and wanted to make sure everything was okay. And this lady can't even see! She is almost totally blind...but she still missed me.
The other service we attend in the middle of the week. We have been at that church much less time so far, but have already felt in awe of the closeness of the relationships there, and the way in which people there are honest and open about their shortcomings and need for grace, in a way I have never seen in a church.
In contrast, one of our close friends from a previous church said, nearly 18 months after we had left, they hadn't even noticed we were gone.
I think as a church, a worldwide church, we need to start loving each other the way Jesus loves us.
Because, as I have found, love changes everything.

updated cover

Did some additional work on the cover this afternoon, during the time I
would have been in class. Unfortunately class was cancelled yet again
(the fourth time in five weeks), but at least it gave me time to put
this together.
Once again, let me know what you think...

A breakthrough...

Stumbled upon a wonderfully helpful tidbit of information today. Came across a book by Dwight Swain entitled "Techniques of the Selling Writer" which mentions the notions of what he refers to as MRUs, or Motivation-Response Units. There's also mention of Scenes and Sequels, a technique for writing "scenes" which is good, but the MRUs are literally where it's at for great writing.
If you're interested, I'd suggest finding out a little more about it yourself (I don't have space or time to go into it here), but suffice it to say, it has made the writing process a whole lot easier than previously, and in fact, I was able to get through the entire rape scene today. It's done and dusted, and it reads well, though the content is less than savoury of course; but nonetheless, it is good writing.
Enough for now, I need to get back to work. I'm loving MRUs right now! :D

My blurb is written!

Also spent some time today working on the blurb for the back cover:

"In a small town in northern Minnesota, a young girl is brutally raped. Everyone wants the man who attacked her to be held accountable for his actions, and brought to justice. Everyone, that is, except for Mark Burrows.
A young defense lawyer, Burrows is desperate for a case that will further his career, and see him become the most sought-after lawyer in the county.
And this case is just what he needs. Whether he wins or loses the case for his client - a man no other lawyer will protect - his career will take off overnight.
But Burrows has no intention of losing the case. In fact, he will go to any lengths to win...
Any lengths..."

What do you think? Please comment.

Something a little fun...

Have been working on a possible preliminary cover in my limited spare time...Thought you might like to check it out.
Just to let you know, this is nowhere near finished yet, but it will give you a bit of an idea.
This is the entire cover (as one piece) for the hardcover edition, so it features not only front cover (and back cover eventually) but also spine (of course) and flaps for both the front and back.
Enjoy!